Reflections on perception

My whole life, I was told I say sorry "too much." I never thought much about it, until I had something to replace it with. I was told to say, 

"thank you for your patience with [insert something about an inconvenience]" 

As I grew older, I liked that a lot. I adopted it, and shared it like it was "the way." I started to affiliate "sorry" almost with somebody devaluing themselves. 

Fast forward, I am married to a man who is half Japanese and have visited Japan twice. Not blinking at all the, "sumimasen," "gomenasai," "ojamashimasu" (excuse me, sorry, I am inconveniencing you) that I heard regularly. 

Jump ahead to a few months ago, I had a wonderful student start. She was fun, open, and it has been a joy to have her every Thursday morning, the one catch: she would show up when class was just starting and would apologize profusely. I gave her my usual, "hey, just say "thank you for your patience." I am just happy you make it here safely." Shpeal. She said that it was a great idea and has been doing that since.

Three weeks ago, I found out she was raised in Japan. She is half Japanese and went to an American school so, she sounded like she could have been from this area. I felt like I had such a new insight into her. Why she would apologize so much, it wasn't my biased notion of low self worth, it was cultural. 

Henry Rollins said in a talk, that as westerners we try to solve (perceived) problems with Western solutions. And though, this student receieved my opinion well, I realize that it is in her culture to be the way she is.

Though we my think something is for "the best" it is better to ask questions first. To maybe see it from other angles first, and then proceed. My "advice" wasn't harmful, but I can see where I could have made her feel wrong or different because of our cultural differences. 

Just some thoughts on giving unasked for advice, which I am ridiculously guilty of doing.